Remember that day?! A moment to the midnight, New Year’s Eve, in the main square of your city, when everybody was waiting for the warmth of the midnight kiss in that freezing cold, I boldly stood in front of you and said:” Jane! I never thought I would find my other half here and like this!”
As you were trying to conceal your sorrow behind your voice, you said: “One doesn't find his other half behind enemy lines!!” And I’m still cursing that moment that I didn't kiss my “enemy” in her territory!
Jane! This time I haven’t begun my letter with the word “Hi”! I clearly remember that you hated “hello” as much as “goodbye”! In the dictionary you found “hi” as pathetic as “bye”! As if you never liked to squeeze your presence in an interval… That’s why I have left you but the interval of your presence is still open in my life.
The Letters you have sent are so devoid of any passion that has made me exhausted to the point that I decided to make “written”, all that was left “unsaid” all these years! The trouble of editing the words lies with you! Don’t worry!! It is not anymore complicated than what you do every day! And I won’t worry because I know that you are good at what you do!
Let me tell you all those “unsaid” words… frankly!
God-Who we didn’t agree is whether one or three!! - damn two kinds of people!!
Firstly those who picked up a pen and criss crossed all the land and call them “Border lines”!
Secondly those who never tried to pick up an easier and wipe the lines!!
If those “borders” weren’t there, perhaps my cousin would like to be a doctor like Jessica now. Although the” white dress” that your kind uncle and his fellow senators sew her and some of our dimwitted fellow countrymen wore on her body will remain on for all eternity!!! Yes, that’s the sad story of her and a lot of other ”innocent angels” here…
I know… You are surprised with all this “bitterness”! Remember Jane?? Remember that before I had to leave” YOU”, leave “University” and come back home under all those sanctions and bad economic condition what you used to call me?!...”SWEETIE”!!
Sweetheart!! When you always strive and never get what you should, no matter how” sweet” you are, you get” bitter”…”Bitter” and more “bitter”!! Like a seed that remained forever bitter in the heart of an apricot!
I know Jane…I know you loved me!
But I remember that you were always anxious because you couldn't convince your parents of the fact that before I got there I had a driver’s license for “CARS” not for “CAMELS”!
Or you were hopeless to tell your brother that it’s possible to stand in front of me and my countrymen without a gun and smile!!
And “I” left “you”… Because for me “love” wasn’t about having you but seeing you happy!
The last time I saw you not kissing you wasn’t just my only mistake, but not to wish you anything. Perhaps this New Year’s Eve and this letter can be a good time and place to make that “overdue” wish.
My wish for you is what “Ross” said to “Rachel” in the popular sitcom that took ten years of your father’s life: “to find someone who knows what he has when he has you!”
I hope the one who has you, knows that he holds “someone’s only wish”, every time he holds you.
My biggest wish is that the boundaries you follow be boundaries of humanity…
Jane…Jane…BREATH…BE ALIVE…AND LIVE IN BEAUTY…
Happy New Year
Omid Taheri Vahid