My Dear Jane, or as you always wanted "Jane Jaanam", Hello,
I've never understood the bond between you foreigners and the word "Jaan"! any way, it's really good that you love it cause it makes it so much easier for me to show you my true love and compassion.
Jaane Delam, you can't imagine how happy I am to find you here again. When I saw your Friend Request on my email I've almost asked everybody around to find me a VPN, even our neighborhood Store! Finally my Cousin find me one. You know, the sister of whom had cancer… you remember? I've sent you an email and asked you to send us that Drug which I've never learned its stupid name, eventually it came but… maybe it's a beat rude to say, I know! but Can I be Honest and tell you that I've Cursed your republican Uncle a lot after my cousin died... !? those Sanctions took many lives of my people… any way…
I was saying that I'm truly happy to find you and I can not wait to see you again. I really want you to come to Iran, you know that it’s not possible for me right now to take a trip to US, cause of all the Economic Situations.
But I've made my mind, you will come here next January! Don's say No please! If it's your parents I will convince them, don't worry…! I will send some movies, some new underground band's musics and some Pictures of our normal life here for your Momy just to make her realize that we don't come from another planet and we're not Dangerous at all, we're just like you guys!
And about your Dady, I will challenge him to play a "Friends" 's Lightning round with me and make him see that I'm even better than himself in that area! Maybe he would change his mind and even come here to see this supernatural Creature with his own eyes!
My dear Jane Jaan, ( if you knew how funny the mixing of your name "Jane" and this Persian word "jaan" sounds like, you never asked me to call you that!), my dearest, I know it's almost new year and you must be very busy. Here it's Yalda Night, it's the Longest night of the year. We eat so many tasty foods and Snacks and hang out with our lovely Families. That's why I want you to come here exactly this time of the year!
Happy new year My Dearest, I really hope that the Year ahead us would be a year full of Joy, Love and Friendship for me as an Iranian and for you as an American, I really wish that the world would be empty of Radical minds like your Uncle and some really really trouble maker Politicians in my Country and the region which are the main reasons of innocent people losing their lives like my cousin and people got hurt in wars like your brother…
P.S: I'm sending the new picture of me with brand new haircut which you've never seen !